Chemo vs Real Life

tree

After chemo there is a pattern for me. The first day after I feel ok. A little tired but not nauseous or anything yet. I have learned to take this day to run errands and prepare for what is about to come.

The second day out from chemo the tiredness begins. I have always been an energetic person so this tends to be a cranky day for me. I feel kind of okay, there are things I want to do. But actually doing something as simple as sweeping the floor will wear you out in a heartbeat. This time around I wanted to get my Christmas decorations up. Christmas is my favorite holiday. Celebrating the birth of Christ and spending time with family and friends has always been so very important to me. 

My daughter and son-in-law as well as my son each helped getting the outdoor decor up and the tree inside decorated. I was cranky when I had to keep sitting down and catching my breath. I don’t deal well with limitations. My poor husband is a saint for putting up with my mouth on days like today. I ask God to forgive me for no appreciating the fact I am still here. And I ask my husband to forgive me for being a pain in the butt.

We did not get the lights on the house up. My husband is going to attempt that on Monday since he is off work. We went to eat with the kiddos while I can still taste a bit. I enjoyed the family time. However, when we got back home and were sitting around in the living room chatting I fell asleep. My body just couldn’t hang anymore.

Tomorrow, Monday, per the pattern the bone and muscle pain will begin as well as the “chemo fog” where I have trouble thinking straight. Each day will get a bit worse along with chemo rash and taste issues. By Saturday it will begin to improve and I will slowly crawl out of the hole.  By the following Saturday I will feel more like me. Then it will be time for another treatment and begin again.

But for now, I will take my pain pills, steroids, nausea pills, heartburn pills, potassium pills, vitamin D pills and insulin and wait to see my blood-work this week to find out if my pharmacy will be growing again.

I strive to emulate my Granny. She battled and fought  cancer multiple times. She was so positive. I cannot imagine how she felt inside battling it many times. They say walk a mile in someone’s shoes before you judge them. I say crawl in the mind of someone battling cancer and you will find a new appreciation for life. I will hold my head up, no matter how bad I feel and do my Granny proud. She may have lost her last battle with cancer but she kicked cancer’s butt many times before then. I sure miss her right now.

granny

outside

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